博客网 >

25.最后的守望
作者:分类:默认分类标签:
25.最后的守望                         

 

  子夜时分,当黎明的第一道气息随风而至,那先驱,就是自称是未闻之声的回音的人,离开卧室,登上了自家的屋顶。他久久仁立 着,看着下面熟睡的城郭,然后拍起头,呼唤着,仿佛城中睡者不眠的 精魂,已围聚他的身边。他说"朋友们,邻里们,每日自我门前经过的人们:在你们睡时我要向你们宣讲,在你们梦幻的谷地我要赤身无羁地行走;觉醒时你们最不 经心,百音灌耳时你们充耳不闻。"

  "我爱你们,甚久,甚切。"

  "我爱你们中任何一人,就如他是你们全体;我爱你们全体,就像你们是一人。值我心之春天,我在你们的花园里吟唱;当我心之夏日,我守望你们的谷场。"

  '啊,我爱你们全体。巨人和侏儒,患病的与受福的,在黑夜跌仆的和在白昼起舞于山岗的,我都挚爱着。"

  "你,强人,我爱,虽则你铁硬的趾甲还在我肉体上留着印记;你,弱者,我爱,虽然你辜负了我的信任,枉费了我的耐心。"

  "富人,我爱你,纵然你的甜蜜在我口中变得苦涩;贫者,我爱你,纵使你以我的囊空如洗为羞辱。"

  "你,诗人,在断弦的古琴上随心所欲地弹拨,你得到我分外的垂青;你,学者,孜孜搜集陶工田地里腐烂的尸衣,也得到我的厚爱。"

  "你,牧师,置身昨天的静寂里探问我明天的命运,我爱;你们,崇拜神祗的人们,那神祗只是你们自己愿望的化身,我也爱。"

  "你,饥渴的女子,虽然你的林总是满斟,我带着理解爱你;你,夜夜不息的女子,我怀着同情爱你。"

  "你,健谈者,我爱,并且告诉你:'生活中要说的很多';你,寡言者,我爱,我对自己说:'他在静默中岂不道出了我乐听的话语?"'

  "你们,法官和批评家,我爱,但你们见我钉在十字架上时,却说:'他的滴血富有节奏感,血迹在他白皙的皮肤上构成美丽的图案。"'

  "哎,我爱你们全体,青年与老汉,颤动的芦苇与挺拔的橡树。"

  "可是,哎!你们正因我无边的厚爱背弃了我。你们乐于从小杯中吸取爱,却不敢从汹涌的河流中畅饮;你们愿听微弱的爱语,而当爱高唤,你们却将耳朵塞住。"

  "因为我爱你们全体,你们说:'他的心过于柔嫩,他的道路过于晦暗;他的爱是穷人的爱,那种人拣到饼屑,就快活得如赴国王的盛宴一般;他的爱是懦夫的爱,因为强者爱的只是强者。"'

  "因为我爱你们深切,你们说:'这不过是盲人之爱,才分不清此美和彼丑;这是缺乏鉴赏力的爱,才把酸醋混同甜酒;这爱是无礼和傲慢的,哪个陌路人,能够做我们的父母兄妹?"'

  "你们说的不只这些。市场上,你们常嘲讽地指着我说:'这是个老孩童,不知时令的怪人,中午跟孩子们戏耍,傍晚与老头们作伴,还以智慧、悟性自诩。"'

  "于是我对自己说:'我要更爱他们,哎,爱得更深;只是用憎的外表掩饰这爱,用苛严掩饰我的柔情。我要戴上铁铸的面具,披甲戴盔后寻访他们。"'

  "而后我用沉重的手掌覆住你们的伤口,如夜间的风暴,我在你们耳边叱喝。"

  "站在屋顶上,我揭露了你们中的伪君子、势利眼、骗子、像水泡一般华而不实的庸人。"

  "鼠目寸光之徒,我诅咒他们是盲眼的锦福;汲汲于卑微小利的,我比作缺乏灵魂的眼鼠。"

  "健谈者,我讥为巧舌如簧;寡言者,我称为口拙如石;对粗疏鄙陋的人们,我说:死者决不会厌倦死亡。"

  "追求世间知识的人,我斥责他们亵渎了神灵的精神;独尊精神的人,我贬之为打捞影子的痴人:将网撒向死水,捞起的只是他们自己的倒影。

  "如此,我用言词贬斥你们;我滴血的心,却在轻柔地低唤你们。"

  "这是被自身鞭笞的爱在言语,这是受损害的高傲在轻尘中振翮,这是对于你们的爱的渴望,仁立在屋顶,对你们咆哮;而我的爱心,却在无声中下跪,祈求你们的宽恕。"

  "可是奇迹发生了"

  "我掩饰起的爱,开启了你们的闭目;我伪装的憎,唤醒了你们的心窍。"

  "你们现在爱我了。"

  "你们爱砍斫你们的刀剑,爱渴望着射入你们胸膛的箭矢;负了伤你们感到喜足,铁了自身的血,你们方觉酣畅。"

  "像飞蛾为捐躯扑向火光一样,你们日日聚到我的花园,仰着脸,惊奇地看我撕扯你们白昼的织物。你们交头接耳:'他以上帝的灵光注视,他像古先知那样谈吐,他揭示了我们的灵魂,开启了我们的心锁,他熟知我们的道路,宛如兀鹰熟知狐狸的行踪一样。'"

  "哎,倒不如说,我熟知你们的道路,如同兀鹰熟知雏鹰的习性一样。我愿敞开心的秘密;然而,为了让你们接近,我装作疏远;为预防你们爱期低落,我谨守着我的爱闸。"

  先驱说完这些,双手捂着脸痛哭起来。他心知赤裸的爱虽受了侮辱,但比伪装了去求胜的爱要伟大。他觉得羞辱。

  但是,他猛然抬起头来,如大梦初醒一般伸开双臂说道:"夜过去了,当黎明从山岗上翩翩而至,我们夜的孩子就该死去。自我们的灰烬 中要升腾起更强有力的爱,那是在太阳下朗笑的爱,那是不死的爱。"

 

 

The Last Watch

At high tide of night, when the first breath of dawn came upon the wind, the forerunner, he who calls himself echo to a voice yet unheard, left his bed-chamber and ascended to the roof of his house. Long he stood and looked down upon the slumbering city. Then he raised his head, and even as if the sleepless spirits of all those asleep had gathered around him, he opened his lips and spoke, and he said:

"My friends and neighbors and you who daily pass my gate, I would speak to you in your sleep, and in the valley of your dreams I would walk naked and unrestrained; for heedless are your waking hours and deaf are your sound-burdened ears.

"Long did I love you and overmuch.

"I love the one among you as though he were all, and all as if you were one. And in the spring of my heart I sang in your gardens, and in the summer of my heart I watched at your threshing-floors.

"Yea, I loved you all, the giant and the pygmy, the leper and the anointed, and him who gropes in the dark even as him who dances his days upon the mountains.

"You, the strong, have I loved, though the marks of your iron hoofs are yet upon my flesh; and you the weak, though you have drained my faith and wasted my patience.

"You the rich have I loved, while bitter was your honey to my mouth; and you the poor, though you knew my empty-handed shame.

"You the poet with the bowed lute and blind fingers, you have I loved in self-indulgence; and you the scholar ever gathering rotted shrouds in potters' fields.

"You the priest I have loved, who sit in the silences of yesterday questioning the fate of my tomorrow; and you the worshippers of gods the images of your own desires.

"You the thirsting woman whose cup is ever full, I have loved in understanding; and you the woman of restless nights, you too I have loved in pity.

"You the talkative have I loved, saying, 'Life hath much to say'; and you the dumb have I loved, whispering to myself, 'Says he not in silence that which I fain would hear in words?"

"And you the judge and the critic, I have loved also; yet when you have seen me crucified, you said, 'He bleeds rhythmically, and the pattern his blood makes upon his white skin is beautiful to behold.'

"Yea, I have loved you all, the young and the old, the trembling reed and the oak.

"But, alas, it was the over-abundance of my heart that turned you from me. You would drink love from a cup, but not from a surging river. You would hear love's faint murmur, but when love shouts you would muffle your ears.

"And because I have loved you all you have said, 'Too soft and yielding is his heart, and too undiscerning is his path. It is the love of a needy one, who picks crumbs even as he sits at kingly feasts. And it is the love of a weakling, for the strong loves only the strong."

"And because I have loved you overmuch you have said, 'It is but the love of a blind man who knows not the beauty of one nor the ugliness of another. And it is the love of the tasteless who drinks vinegar even as wine. And it is the love of the impertinent and the overweening, for what stranger could be our mother and father and sister and brother?'

"This you have said, and more. For often in the market-place you pointed your fingers at me and said mockingly, 'There goes the ageless one, the man without seasons, who at the noon hour plays games with our children and at eventide sits with our elders and assumes wisdom and understanding.'

"And I said, 'I will love them more. Aye, even more. I will hide my love with seeming to hate, and disguise my tenderness as bitterness. I will wear an iron mask, and only when armed and mailed shall I seek them.'

"Then I laid a heavy hand upon your bruises, and like a tempest in the night I thundered in your ears.

"From the housetop I proclaimed you hypocrites, Pharisees, tricksters, false and empty earth-bubbles.

"The short-sighted among you I cursed for blind bats, and those too near the earth I likened to soulless moles.

"The eloquent I pronounced fork-tongued, the silent, stone-lipped, and the simple and artless I called the dead never weary of death.

"The seekers after world knowledge I condemned as offenders of the holy spirit and those who would naught but the spirit I branded as hunters of shadows who cast their nets in flat waters and catch but their own images.

"Thus with my lips have I denounced you, while my heart, bleeding within me, called you tender names.

"It was love lashed by its own self that spoke. It was pride half slain that fluttered in the dust. It was my hunger for your love that raged from the housetop, while my own love, kneeling in silence, prayed your forgiveness.

"But behold a miracle!

"It was my disguise that opened your eyes, and my seeming to hate that woke your hearts.

"And now you love me.

"You love the swords that stroke you and the arrows that crave your breast. For it comforts you to be wounded and only when you drink of your own blood can you be intoxicated.

"Like moths that seek destruction in the flame you gather daily in my garden; and with faces uplifted and eyes enchanted you watch me tear the fabric of your days. And in whispers you say the one to the other, 'He sees with the light of God. He speaks like the prophets of old. He unveils our souls and unlocks our hearts, and like the eagle that knows the way of foxes he knows our ways.'

"Aye, in truth, I know your ways, but only as an eagle knows the ways of his fledglings. And I fain would disclose my secret. Yet in my need for your nearness I feign remoteness, and in fear of the ebb tide of your love I guard the floodgates of my love."

After saying these things the forerunner covered his face with his hands and wept bitterly. For he knew in his heart that love humiliated in its nakedness is greater than love that seeks triumph in disguise; and he was ashamed.

But suddenly he raised his head, and like one waking from sleep he outstretched his arms and said, "Night is over, and we children of night must die when dawn comes leaping upon the hills; and out of our ashes a mightier love shall rise. And it shall laugh in the sun, and it shall be deathless."

<< 《先驱者》介绍(伊宏) / 24.在我的孤独之外 >>

专题推荐

不平凡的水果世界

不平凡的水果世界

平凡的水果世界,平凡中的不平凡。 今朝看水果是水果 ,看水果还是水果 ,看水果已不是水果。这境界,谁人可比?在不平凡的水果世界里,仁者见仁,智者见智。

中国春节的那些习俗

中国春节的那些习俗

正月是农历新年的开始,人们往往将它看作是新的一年年运好坏的兆示期。所以,过年的时候“禁忌”特别多。当然,各个地方的风俗习惯不一样,过年的禁忌也是不一样的。

评论
0/200
表情 验证码:

prophet

  • 文章总数0
  • 画报总数0
  • 画报点击数0
  • 文章点击数0
个人排行
        博文分类
        日期归档